The Words I Have Inside

Writing is no easy task. You sit down to a blank page while your thoughts are in a tangled knot and try to pull one strand at a time out onto the page. Word choice, punctuation, anecdotes, timing — they all matter to make your story pop the way you want. One misplaced sentence or thoughtless word can clip your carefully pulled string, leaving you with two raw and broken thoughts to clumsily tie together.

I once read that amateur writers write when they are inspired, but professional writers write even when they aren’t. That must be true. I want to live up to that name, Writer, but I worry of falling short of it. Does any writer ever feel their work is good enough? Clear enough? Inspiring enough? Real enough? True enough? The more I write the more I am plagued with doubts about the legitimacy of spending every morning at my computer, sometimes typing out thoughts without a clear understanding of where my words will end up.

However,  another writer has also said, “Stories are our prayers. Write and edit them with due reverence, even when the stories themselves are irreverent. Stories are parables. Write and edit and tell yours with meaning, so each tale stands in for a larger message, each story a guidepost on our collective journey. Stories are our history. Write and edit and tell yours with accuracy and understanding and context and with unwavering devotion to the truth…. Stories are our soul. Write and edit and tell yours with your whole selves. Tell them as if they are all that matters. It matters that you do it as if that’s all there is.” (Pulitzer Prize winner, Jacqui Banaszynksi)

The reason I return each morning to my computer, however tired I may be, is that I believe the above is true. I believe stories have the power to change our world. I have seen this time and time again, from testimonies of how a friend’s world was changed by an act of faith to the stories of refugees fleeing darkness for just a glimpse of some light. Stories matter. They give us meaning when all we seem to have is a tangled up knot of our experiences. They act as a compass in this wild, mapless life.

Stories matter deeply to me, and expressing them through writing seems to be one of the clearest way I can tell mine. So even when I don’t see the immediate fruit of my labor, I will continue to write so that I might grow and improve to tell my story to the best of my ability. The words I have are ones I pray bring hope and remind others of that sometimes forgotten spark of joy life holds for us. After all, no one else can express the words I have inside. The same is true for the words inside of you. No one else can tell the world how you see it, so why not you?

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Arresting Beauty

My heart tightened in my chest. My eyes widened. My breath caught—then spilled out in a torrent of laughter.

I stood on a hill surrounded by farmland on all but one side, where the sea met a cliff’s edge and winked with every silver splash. The distant hills of the Highlands had turned a royal purple with the setting sun and the world was cast in golds and blues and pinks, the colors of wonder.

Sheep decorated the hillside, as if each was intentionally placed, and stood upon a tall crag nearby—perfect silhouettes against the ruby-colored sky.

Down below, nestled between the sea and the folds of the surrounding hills, lay a town—a “royal borough” as the friendly locals called it—just on the edge of sleep. The windows of its houses glowed faintly, and as the sun slipped from the valley, those pockets of light gave the illusion that a net of golden stars rested upon the place.

Glancing toward the sea I was treated with yet another great sight. Rising from the low-hanging clouds above the sea was a nearly-full moon. It was one of those glorious autumn moons that seem to grow to twice its normal size along the horizon. As it hung in a pink and purple sky, it looked more like a great pearl button on a cushion of silk than a heavenly body thousands of miles away.

Just in case you thought I was exaggerating.

I am well prepared to face most kinds of beauty, but this place took my breath away in the truest sense of that phrase. It arrested my heart, and I hope—I pray—it never lets me go for the wonder it has given me in return. As I gazed upon it all, the sheer splendor was almost more than I could bear. So I sank to my knees and laughter broke from my lips. Why? Because there was nothing else I could do at that point, but laugh.

With this laughter came a feeling deep in my soul that this was one of the best ways of all to discover God. When face-to-face with beauty of this magnitude, time slows, “reality” pauses and the wonder of the moment takes your heart to new heights. Resting upon that hill felt like a glimpse of a truer reality. As if waking from a dream, I had a feeling that I was being let in on some great secret—that this was the heart of God. No hymns sung off-key in a quiet church could quite compare to the majesty and mastery of God in His element. This is the God I know. This is the God I worship. This is the reality He calls us to.

There is a richness in this arresting beauty that refuses to be commodified. It cannot be bought or sold, yet it can be sought. And only in the seeking will we realize that we were the ones being sought all along. C.S. Lewis—and countless other great writers—have noted that even if a person were to never hear the gospel or read a bible, they could still come to know God and how he pursues us through the world He created. In just a single sunset I discovered how true that could be.

Sunset along the northeastern coast of Scotland.

Travel & Scotland & Grad School — Oh My!

Goodness! Where has the time gone? For those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning… hello again, old friends! For those of you who may be new, welcome to the adventure.

It’s been a year since I last posted, and oh so much has happened since! I’ve traveled to more far-flung places than ever before (Myanmar, Iran, Turkmenistan, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Albania and Oman to name a few), found myself a handsome and wonderful boyfriend and then moved across the Atlantic to return to school.

After working four years in the travel industry as an Adventure Guide with Adventures by Disney and on the Expedition Staff for trips around the world by private jet with TCS World Travel and National Geographic, I decided to take a one-year break from travel to pursue a Masters degree. Never one to follow the status quo, I ended up choosing a program on the other side of the world (naturally) and have been living in beautiful Scotland for the last four months attending the University of Edinburgh for a postgraduate degree (MSc) in Entrepreneurship and Innovation! Fitting a Masters program into one year has kept me unbelievably busy to say the least. But as I’ve had a chance to rest during my holiday break, I figured it was time to catch you all up on my life. 

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Why I Stand with Refugees (and How You Can Too)

I don’t know about you, but the political changes and news headlines in 2017 were enough to give me a chronic headache. Especially those concerning the refugee crisis. As the year progressed, fear seemed to became the winning narrative, and indifference the easy way out. Yet as we stand with one foot in 2017 and one in 2018, reflecting on how our response toward refugees has shifted, let’s not forget who we harm when we succumb to misplaced fear and indifference. The refugees our world continues to argue over are not monsters, pawns, nor mere political “annoyances.” They are real people with dreams, passions, skills, fears, and hopes–just like you and me. The one major difference being that they are fleeing war and persecution.

In 2016 I traveled through seven European countries alongside the people photographed below to learn the truth behind this crisis. I discovered the names and stories of every person you see here, and in doing so I learned to see each of them as friends and allies. These are the faces and characteristics of individuals who forever changed the way I view refugee/immigration policy. Their stories taught me the importance of how we treat one another, especially those who are heartsick from long and painful journeys to find peace.

I pray that when you look into the faces of these refugees you will see yourself reflected in their eyes. I certainly do. Read on, or scroll to the bottom to learn how you can practically respond (this includes a letter-writing initiative for local refugees that you can participate in)!

These are the reasons I stand with refugees…

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What Adventure Does

“Most great adventures work that way. You don’t plan them, you don’t get all the details right, you just do them.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

Think about a book you love. A story treasured from one generation to the next; one so powerful it offers readers insight each year it’s read.

Stories like those have a funny way of sticking to your heart, like snow on frozen ground. Yet it often seems hard to decipher what qualities connect them all to greatness. Is it a complex prose? Captivating dialogue? Or, a meticulously planned storyline?

Maybe.

But when I think of my all-time favorite stories (like Harry Potter, The Alchemist, or the Narnia series), the common theme I find is the unexpected adventure their characters find themselves in.

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Scary-Beautiful Change

Let me be honest; I’m not a fan of change. You see, I celebrate some changes–like new seasons and scenery–I just hate when change penetrates deep enough to affect my “constants.”

We all have things in our lives that we think of as constants; our childhood homes, families, friendships, even our annual vacation spots. We hold these portions of our lives close to our heart because they can often seem unchangeable in world that is constantly changing. However normal this tendency may seem, I am learning that this is no way to really live.

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Let Me Introduce Myself

Photo by Courtney Bowlden

(photo by Courtney Bowlden)

Who am I? Those three words combine to create a loaded question that few dare to ask and even fewer take time to thoughtfully answer. But don’t worry, I won’t hit you with that one just yet. The purpose of this post is to act as a little introduction. Whether you are reading this for the first time on your phone, in line at a coffee shop, or you merely stumbled across my blog while procrastinating from work (don’t worry, it can wait), let me just say…

Hello and welcome to my new blog, “See, Hear, Explore,”–but you can call it S.H.E. for short!

For years I have had the itch to write, and it is a passion I have indulged sporadically with a travel/personal blog I kept my last two summers in Eastern Europe and through a stack of old journals currently stuffed under my bed. I have shared bits and pieces of my life with the World Wide Web, yet recently yearned to have a single, consistent place to share my thoughts, dreams, stories, and faith in a blog that flows like a journal. I wanted to create this blog so that you can all walk along side me as I experience life the way I truly believe it to be; a grand adventure.

So what inspired the name, “See, Hear, Explore?”

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